Reviewed by Brian Alexander
As you read this, somewhere a man is purchasing the Chasey Lain Cyberskin ... well, I can't write the rest of the name of this device in the newspaper. Suffice to say that the object in question is molded directly from the naughty bits of a porn star named Chasey Lain for the purpose of sexual congress.
I know this is happening because I sold such devices while working in an adult store in Tempe, Ariz. – reportage, if you will, for an upcoming book, “America Unzipped.”
I also sold vibrators, dildos, foam breasts, dozens of different gizmos to many more people than you might think. So, when David Levy makes the case that sometime in the future (he thinks it'll be about 40 years from now) people will have sex with robots, I say you can bank on it.
In “Love + Sex With Robots,” Levy seems to expect lots of resistance to this idea, but we have been fantasizing about it at least since the days of “Pygmalion.” The robot in Fritz Lang's “Metropolis” is still one of the sexiest females in movie history. An artist named Hajime Sorayama has been creating fetishized renderings of “gynoids” for a while now, and if any one of them ever did come to “life” there'd be a line of eager devotees waving credit cards outside the gynoid factory. Web sites like The Fembot Chronicles already pant at the prospect. And, as was recently reported in these pages, San Marcos-based Abyss Creations has been providing silicone love for about a decade in the form of life-size dolls costing upward of $6,500.
Sex with robots is not a radical notion. Still, “Love + Sex With Robots” is profoundly insightful, disturbing and smart for the way it makes us think – not about robots, but ourselves.
Levy, an entrepreneur, chess master and artificial intelligence expert, has written what amounts to a very long argument that human beings will, and should, come to treat the robots of the future as objects of love and desire. Reflecting the book's origins as his Ph.D. thesis, he marshals his evidence methodically. This means we have to wade through some turgid reporting on how people interact with computers and pets (“The human tendency to project feelings and thoughts onto animals would seem to be a pervasive one. It is probably based on what developmental psychologists call ... ”), the quoting of experts and studies, and some optimistic futurism.
All that leads to this: “I submit that each and every one of the main factors that psychologists have found to cause humans to fall in love with humans can almost equally apply to cause humans to fall in love with robots.”
Whether you buy this or not, Levy is a successful provocateur. You may find yourself debating him. This is a good sign for such a book, because Levy forces us to defend our comfortable assumptions. We think we know what love is and what it means to be a human in love, but do we really?
Sex? Sure. Love? Can true love exist between human beings and a manufactured construct? Levy thinks so and declares it good. By 2050, he argues, people will be marrying robots.
The 2050 date is a throwaway. The fun part of writing about the future is that you can say any damn thing you want because nobody can refute you.
But the actual date is irrelevant. Levy makes a strong argument that someday we will think we are in love with machines. If this sounds too fantastic, consider that this happens now. I once wrote about a construction worker who fell in love with his earthmover, wrote it love poetry and finally died on it while engaged in autoerotic asphyxiation.
We crave love, empathy, loyalty, and we'll accept these from whatever source they are offered. Robots, especially when they start looking and moving more like us, will offer them in abundance. “And their capacity for serving as our companions, our lovers, and our life partners will in many ways be superior to those of mere mortals,” Levy writes. “I am convinced that this is how the world will be by the year 2050.”
Sounds crazy, right? You could argue forcefully that the besotted construction worker suffered from a pathology, that he was not feeling love at all, but suffering from mental illness. Maybe Levy's future will come true, maybe it won't.
But before you turn smug, think about our increasingly atomized, fractured, acquisitive, technological culture, where we often opt for a chip-driven multimedia illusion where information has become entertainment and reading headlines online is now considered reading the newspaper.
As Levy points out, the best prostitutes try to give “the girlfriend experience.” Customers buy into the pretense; it's far easier than the reality.
We already accept faux – faux patriotism, faux religion, faux music – because we can't tell the difference any more. Even if we have to program them to do it, robots, Levy argues, will appear to accept us, serve us, give us loyalty and trust. They will be real because we want them to be real and because what used to be real is too challenging to build and keep.
As far as I can tell, the word “romance” does not appear in Levy's text. On the other hand, he concludes by telling us that “people will want better robot sex, and even better robot sex, and better still robot sex, their sexual appetites becoming voracious as the technologies improve, bringing even higher levels of joy with each experience. And it is quite possible that the terms 'sex maniac' and 'nymphomaniac' will take on new meanings, or at least new dimensions, as what are perceived to be natural levels of human sexual desire change to conform to what is newly available – great sex on tap for everyone 24/7.”
Until I read that sentence, at the end of this very interesting book, I would not have imagined how depressing the prospect of great sex 24/7 could seem.
Brian Alexander's new book, “America Unzipped: In Search of Sex and Satisfaction,” will be published Jan. 15 by Crown/Harmony Books.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
Better Sex Diet
Better Sex Diet
For those of us who could use a little libido pick-me-up, the grocery store might be a good place to start.
Like many aspects of our health, our sex drive is affected by what we put into our bodies. A few drinks and a thick steak, followed by a rich chocolate dessert, may sound romantic, but it is actually a prologue to sleep--not sex.
Humans have sought ways to enhance or improve their sex lives for millennia--and have never been reluctant to spend money to make themselves better lovers. The ancient Romans were said to prefer such exotic aphrodisiacs as hippo snouts and hyena eyeballs. Traditional Chinese medicine espoused the use of such rare delicacies as rhino horn. Modern lovers are no less extravagant. In 2004, for example, according to Atlanta-based health care information company NDCHealth , Americans spent about $1.4 billion to treat male sexual function disorders alone.
Of that amount, Viagra rang up $997 million in sales for Pfizer or 71.2% of the total market. Among the other drugs trying to find their way into American's bedside tables and back pockets are Levitra, which is made by Bayer but marketed in the U.S. by GlaxoSmithKline and Schering-Plough and Cialis, which was jointly developed by Eli Lilly and ICOS There is a difference, of course, between helping sexual dysfunction and arousing our passions. The problem is that, these days, there are more solutions for the former than the latter.
Aphrodisiacs, for the most part, have been proved to be ineffective. Named for Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of sex and beauty, these include an array of herbs, foods and other "agents" that are said to awaken and heighten sexual desire. But the 5,000-year tradition of using them is based more on folklore than real science. "There is no data and no scientific evidence," says Leonore Tiefer, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine. "Product pushers are very eager to capitalize on myths," she says.
Most libido-enhancing products offer short term benefit at best, according to Dr. John Mulhall, Director of the Sexual Medicine Program at New York Presbyterian and associate professor of urology at the Weill Medical College of Cornell University. Mulhall, who also sits on the Nutraceuticals Committee of the Sexual Medicine Society of North America, says: "Every year we review the literature on these compounds--these nutraceuticals like nitric oxide and ginseng--and there are none that have really been shown to be more than a placebo."
When it comes to sexual function, the placebo effect is probably 30% in men and around 50% in women, he says. That means there are a lot of people out there who believe a pill they are taking or a food they are eating is doing a lot of good for them sexually. In reality, their mind is doing all the work.
So, besides renting The Story of O and opening a bottle of red wine, what can people do to kick start their sex life?
One thing they can do is change their diet. Soy, for example, binds estrogen receptors, which helps the vaginal area remain lubricated, and combats symptoms of menopause--particularly hot flashes. Studies have shown that soy is also beneficial to the prostate, a crucial male sex organ. Chili peppers and ginger are believed to improve circulation and stimulate nerve endings, which could, in turn, improve sexual pleasure.
Foods that promote weight loss also hold libido-boosting potential. "There has been very solid research showing that obesity is a risk factor for erectile dysfunction and low testosterone," says Dr. Ridwan Shabsigh, director of the New York Center for Human Sexuality and associate professor of urology at Columbia University's medical school. "Reducing weight," he says, "results in an increase of testosterone, and thus an increase in sexual function."
"From an erection stand point, anything that's good for your heart is good for your penis," says Dr. Mulhall. Too much saturated fat can, over time, clog arteries and, in doing so, prevent an adequate flow of blood from reaching the genital region. This not only interferes with the ability to perform, but also with sexual pleasure. Too little fat, on the other hand, is also bad.
"You need fat to produce your hormones," says Beverly Whipple, professor emeritus at Rutgers University and president of the World Association for Sexology. "Cholesterol is metabolized in the liver, and you get your testosterone and estrogen, which you need for your sex drive," she says. Olive oil, salmon and nuts are optimal sources of the "good" kinds of fats--monounsaturated and polyunsaturated.
According to Dr. Judith Reichman, author of I'm Not in the Mood: What Every Woman Should Known about Improving Her Libido, medical and hormonal problems are major contributors to sexual dysfunction and a low libido--but so are too much stress, relationship difficulties and psychological issues. Antidepressants, such as Prozac by GlaxoSmithKline and Paxil by Eli Lilly, can negatively impact sex drive as well.
For those of us who could use a little libido pick-me-up, the grocery store might be a good place to start.
Like many aspects of our health, our sex drive is affected by what we put into our bodies. A few drinks and a thick steak, followed by a rich chocolate dessert, may sound romantic, but it is actually a prologue to sleep--not sex.
Humans have sought ways to enhance or improve their sex lives for millennia--and have never been reluctant to spend money to make themselves better lovers. The ancient Romans were said to prefer such exotic aphrodisiacs as hippo snouts and hyena eyeballs. Traditional Chinese medicine espoused the use of such rare delicacies as rhino horn. Modern lovers are no less extravagant. In 2004, for example, according to Atlanta-based health care information company NDCHealth , Americans spent about $1.4 billion to treat male sexual function disorders alone.
Of that amount, Viagra rang up $997 million in sales for Pfizer or 71.2% of the total market. Among the other drugs trying to find their way into American's bedside tables and back pockets are Levitra, which is made by Bayer but marketed in the U.S. by GlaxoSmithKline and Schering-Plough and Cialis, which was jointly developed by Eli Lilly and ICOS There is a difference, of course, between helping sexual dysfunction and arousing our passions. The problem is that, these days, there are more solutions for the former than the latter.
Aphrodisiacs, for the most part, have been proved to be ineffective. Named for Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of sex and beauty, these include an array of herbs, foods and other "agents" that are said to awaken and heighten sexual desire. But the 5,000-year tradition of using them is based more on folklore than real science. "There is no data and no scientific evidence," says Leonore Tiefer, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine. "Product pushers are very eager to capitalize on myths," she says.
Most libido-enhancing products offer short term benefit at best, according to Dr. John Mulhall, Director of the Sexual Medicine Program at New York Presbyterian and associate professor of urology at the Weill Medical College of Cornell University. Mulhall, who also sits on the Nutraceuticals Committee of the Sexual Medicine Society of North America, says: "Every year we review the literature on these compounds--these nutraceuticals like nitric oxide and ginseng--and there are none that have really been shown to be more than a placebo."
When it comes to sexual function, the placebo effect is probably 30% in men and around 50% in women, he says. That means there are a lot of people out there who believe a pill they are taking or a food they are eating is doing a lot of good for them sexually. In reality, their mind is doing all the work.
So, besides renting The Story of O and opening a bottle of red wine, what can people do to kick start their sex life?
One thing they can do is change their diet. Soy, for example, binds estrogen receptors, which helps the vaginal area remain lubricated, and combats symptoms of menopause--particularly hot flashes. Studies have shown that soy is also beneficial to the prostate, a crucial male sex organ. Chili peppers and ginger are believed to improve circulation and stimulate nerve endings, which could, in turn, improve sexual pleasure.
Foods that promote weight loss also hold libido-boosting potential. "There has been very solid research showing that obesity is a risk factor for erectile dysfunction and low testosterone," says Dr. Ridwan Shabsigh, director of the New York Center for Human Sexuality and associate professor of urology at Columbia University's medical school. "Reducing weight," he says, "results in an increase of testosterone, and thus an increase in sexual function."
"From an erection stand point, anything that's good for your heart is good for your penis," says Dr. Mulhall. Too much saturated fat can, over time, clog arteries and, in doing so, prevent an adequate flow of blood from reaching the genital region. This not only interferes with the ability to perform, but also with sexual pleasure. Too little fat, on the other hand, is also bad.
"You need fat to produce your hormones," says Beverly Whipple, professor emeritus at Rutgers University and president of the World Association for Sexology. "Cholesterol is metabolized in the liver, and you get your testosterone and estrogen, which you need for your sex drive," she says. Olive oil, salmon and nuts are optimal sources of the "good" kinds of fats--monounsaturated and polyunsaturated.
According to Dr. Judith Reichman, author of I'm Not in the Mood: What Every Woman Should Known about Improving Her Libido, medical and hormonal problems are major contributors to sexual dysfunction and a low libido--but so are too much stress, relationship difficulties and psychological issues. Antidepressants, such as Prozac by GlaxoSmithKline and Paxil by Eli Lilly, can negatively impact sex drive as well.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Top Five Ways To Turn A Woman On And Increase Her Sexual Desire For You
1. Get into her head.
As Bob Guccione eloquently remarked, "Getting into a woman's head is a prerequisite to getting into her body." Know what makes your woman tick. Look through what she reads in books and magazines, the TV programs and movies that she watches. Get acquainted with the tone and mood of the materials that she regularly immerse herself in and you will then get a good idea on what will make her get hot.
2. Be unpredictable.
The kneel of death of any relationship is to be predictable. Try to inject an element of surprise back into the relationship. Compliment her when she least expects it. Perhaps more importantly, be specific in your compliments rather than generic (ie "I like your new curls - it really suits your face" is always better than "You're hot"). Leave stick-on notes on her windshield to tell her how you appreciate being with her. Use your imagination and do the unexpected.
3. Tease her.
You might have read somewhere that the brain is human's biggest sex organ. Could you tease your way to seduction? The trick to being a good tease is to subtly imply sexual interest in seemingly innocent way in your conversations with her. Be flirty and sweet at the same time, and you will be well on your way to be a great tease master.
4. Subtly imply sexual interest in the conversation.
How to make a woman think of having sex with you? Talk to her! However, the secret is not to directly ask her about sex, but rather indirectly lead her to the subject. For example, tell her that you've read an interesting article on sex in one of the magazines that you both read. It could be a tip on a new position that gives more pleasure to the woman, for example. Gradually make the conversation steamier and you'll well be on your way to bed her.
5. Go to a 'girl-friendly' sex shop.
Ask her to go for an adventure to shop for lingerie. Remember to go for the non-sleazy, women-friendly sex shop that sells both lingerie as well as sex toys. Talk her into buying a sex toy together.
Now here's a bonus sixth way to get a woman hot and bothered. Ask her to spend the night in with you and watch a sensual movie with you. Some movies you'd like to consider - 9 1/2 Weeks (steamy drama starring Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger), Belle du Jour (sensual French film), B Monkey (romantic thriller). While watching the movie, tease her gently but turn it up gradually. She will practically drag you off to the bedroom. So get ready.
As Bob Guccione eloquently remarked, "Getting into a woman's head is a prerequisite to getting into her body." Know what makes your woman tick. Look through what she reads in books and magazines, the TV programs and movies that she watches. Get acquainted with the tone and mood of the materials that she regularly immerse herself in and you will then get a good idea on what will make her get hot.
2. Be unpredictable.
The kneel of death of any relationship is to be predictable. Try to inject an element of surprise back into the relationship. Compliment her when she least expects it. Perhaps more importantly, be specific in your compliments rather than generic (ie "I like your new curls - it really suits your face" is always better than "You're hot"). Leave stick-on notes on her windshield to tell her how you appreciate being with her. Use your imagination and do the unexpected.
3. Tease her.
You might have read somewhere that the brain is human's biggest sex organ. Could you tease your way to seduction? The trick to being a good tease is to subtly imply sexual interest in seemingly innocent way in your conversations with her. Be flirty and sweet at the same time, and you will be well on your way to be a great tease master.
4. Subtly imply sexual interest in the conversation.
How to make a woman think of having sex with you? Talk to her! However, the secret is not to directly ask her about sex, but rather indirectly lead her to the subject. For example, tell her that you've read an interesting article on sex in one of the magazines that you both read. It could be a tip on a new position that gives more pleasure to the woman, for example. Gradually make the conversation steamier and you'll well be on your way to bed her.
5. Go to a 'girl-friendly' sex shop.
Ask her to go for an adventure to shop for lingerie. Remember to go for the non-sleazy, women-friendly sex shop that sells both lingerie as well as sex toys. Talk her into buying a sex toy together.
Now here's a bonus sixth way to get a woman hot and bothered. Ask her to spend the night in with you and watch a sensual movie with you. Some movies you'd like to consider - 9 1/2 Weeks (steamy drama starring Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger), Belle du Jour (sensual French film), B Monkey (romantic thriller). While watching the movie, tease her gently but turn it up gradually. She will practically drag you off to the bedroom. So get ready.
Sexual Desire
Do You Lack The Sexual Desire?
Sexual health is a vital aspect in life as far as we are concerned and sexual satisfaction, an essential ingredient when it comes to active, physical relationships. We express sexual desires in many ways. And we do not know whether it is our own sexual fantasies or physiological reasons that bring out sexual desires in us.
Inhibited sexual desire
A low level of sexual desire and interest manifested by a failure to initiate or be responsive to a partner’s initiation of sexual activity is termed as Inhibited sexual desire. Though most of the aspects which stall sexual desire are personal or relational in nature, there are some physical problems too which affect a person’s sexual desire.
Women lack the libido
Lack of sexual desire occurs in approximately 20% of the population and is more common in women than men. Women find themselves guilty of engaging in sex some times or the lack of proper communication makes them stay away from sexual desires. For the woman, sexual desire, love making and satisfaction are feelings closely related to the mind. Good relationships, effective communication and partner’s comfort level determines her urge to involve in sexual activities. For men, it’s the penis which tells him that he is sexually stimulated but for women the message comes from the brain.
No sexual desire? Learn what causes it.
• Communication problems between the partners
• Both men and women fear intimacy. Men especially think that intimacy in a relationship makes them weak
• Anxiety can creep into any relationship. If you have never had sex or had bad experiences from it, then fears and anxieties can ruin sexual interests
• Fear of STD’S or pregnancy might worry you
• Lack of privacy in joint families
• A very restrictive upbringing in matters relating to sex
• Traumatic sexual experiences
• Stress
In marriage, emotional bondage and sexual compatibility are important to make the relationship work. If any one of the partners feels a lack of sexual interest in their relationship, talking helps. Communication is the key to a successful marriage. Like the emotional balance, sexual activity bonds a relationship closer together. So, a lack of sexual desire in you or your partner needs immediate attention.
Sexual health is a vital aspect in life as far as we are concerned and sexual satisfaction, an essential ingredient when it comes to active, physical relationships. We express sexual desires in many ways. And we do not know whether it is our own sexual fantasies or physiological reasons that bring out sexual desires in us.
Inhibited sexual desire
A low level of sexual desire and interest manifested by a failure to initiate or be responsive to a partner’s initiation of sexual activity is termed as Inhibited sexual desire. Though most of the aspects which stall sexual desire are personal or relational in nature, there are some physical problems too which affect a person’s sexual desire.
Women lack the libido
Lack of sexual desire occurs in approximately 20% of the population and is more common in women than men. Women find themselves guilty of engaging in sex some times or the lack of proper communication makes them stay away from sexual desires. For the woman, sexual desire, love making and satisfaction are feelings closely related to the mind. Good relationships, effective communication and partner’s comfort level determines her urge to involve in sexual activities. For men, it’s the penis which tells him that he is sexually stimulated but for women the message comes from the brain.
No sexual desire? Learn what causes it.
• Communication problems between the partners
• Both men and women fear intimacy. Men especially think that intimacy in a relationship makes them weak
• Anxiety can creep into any relationship. If you have never had sex or had bad experiences from it, then fears and anxieties can ruin sexual interests
• Fear of STD’S or pregnancy might worry you
• Lack of privacy in joint families
• A very restrictive upbringing in matters relating to sex
• Traumatic sexual experiences
• Stress
In marriage, emotional bondage and sexual compatibility are important to make the relationship work. If any one of the partners feels a lack of sexual interest in their relationship, talking helps. Communication is the key to a successful marriage. Like the emotional balance, sexual activity bonds a relationship closer together. So, a lack of sexual desire in you or your partner needs immediate attention.
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